Apparently, to increase the tourism in Romania, officials are planning to build a theme park dedicated to one of the most sadistic, brutal princes ever to rule. Dracula Park will celebrate the life and times of Vlad Tepes, by creating a park that houses the International Institute of Vampirology, Dracula’s Castle (a replica), and a shitload of restaurants.

I don’t understand why one would want to celebrate the life of a delusional leader who, for fun, crucified his enemies on long wooden spears and planted them to create a human forest. Fun for the whole family!

It’s not as if there are rides. There is no Dracula Coaster, or Ferris Wheel of the Damned, or anything of that sort. It’s just a cleverly disguised museum. And it’s sponsored by Coca Cola.

I didn’t realize there was a push to glorify mass murderers. Perhaps the British should plan a Jack the Ripper Playland where you can stick your head through a cardboard representation of an Elizabethan prostitute and have your photo taken while being faux-garroted. Now that’s entertainment.

I’m just glad there isn’t a Crusade Laser Tag, where some Romania actor dressed as the Pope knights you with a quest to butcher as many Turks as you can in a minute and a half.

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