All right…This is going to be a fairly short entry as the room I’m typing this from is so hot, I might as well be typing on the sun. No lie. The crappy air conditioners in my apartment refuse to cool beyond the limits of the room, and there is no unit in this room. Argh!

Yes, I realize that I have not written in a week, however, I spent most of that week at my brother’s apartment in Bethesda where he has central air, so I shouldn’t melt in this apartment.

Did everyone have a happy fourth? I did. I spent most of the day in a pool and now my skin is bright red. The sunburn doesn’t hurt so much as sting, and I’m actually very lucky. One summer, when I was 21, I missed a week of my internship from being bedridden from blistering skin resulting from sunburn. That was attractive, let me tell you.

Anyway, I also managed to watch a great deal of ESPN’s broadcasting of various years’ World Series of Poker tournaments, and let me just say that No Limit Texas Hold-em seems a lot less difficult then “Rounders” would lead you to believe.

Anyway, by show of hands, who here knew that Gabe Kaplan, the inimitable Mr. Kotter, was performing color commentary for the World Series of Poker? Yeah, me neither.

Saturday, my brother and I were jonesing for some food, so we ate at Cici’s which apparently is a chain, however, it has an amazing concept. All you can eat pizza buffet. My God, the possibilities. Plain, pepperoni, sausage, Mexican pizza, white pizza, the list goes on. I give it a 9. I would have given it a 10 had it not been for the hordes of barbarian children infesting this place.

Apparently, some camp, or swim group was closed for the day, and they decided to bring the kiddies to Cici’s, because all kids love pizza! Except for the three little girls who sat at the table next to ours. They spent the better part of an hour ripping napkins to shreds and tossing them like confetti into the air. When they grew tired of that, they decided to hide underneath the table, and then jump out directly at my brother and me shouting, “Surprise!” and then staring at us eating our food.

There’s nothing like well-mannered children.

They were a blessing compared to the next group of yokels to take their table. There was a man, a boy, and a woman. The man wore a muscle tee, and had the arm definition of a twig. He also chewed his food with his mouth open, something so disgusting as to annoy me to no end. The woman spent her time at Cici’s with a dollop (not a drop, mind you. A dollop) of ranch dressing on her bicep.

And now I leave you with a memorial to Barry White. The first woman I serenaded into bed was with a Barry White song. See, Barry White is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Barry could sing the theme song to “Sesame Street” and it would guarantee you sex. So here’s to ya big guy.

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