Okay. So first of all, I’d like to amend my list from yesterday. There are a couple of more facets of being unemployed that I will miss.

6. Flip-flops

I already miss waking up, showering, getting dressed, and sliding into a pair of flip-flops. Why? Because they are lazy, casual, and feel amazing. My Reef flip-flops are the most comfortable shoes I own, and I love the way they go with jeans, khakis, or shorts. I think the only thing they don’t go with is a tuxedo.

In fact, they are so comfortable, the good people at Reef should make a godawful commercial about them. It could even go a little something like this.

EXT. MILLION DOLLAR HOME IN BEVERLY HILLS – POOLSIDE

MAN 1, casually dressed in his late 20s approaches MAN 2, his hip twenty-something best friend. MAN1 casually admires MAN 2’s choice in footwear – a brand new pair of ultra-fresh, ultra-stylish patterned Reef flip-flops!

MAN 1 bumps into MAN 2 seemingly accidentally, however, upon closer examination, we see that MAN has pickpocketed his friend.

FADE OUT

And so on and so forth.

* For legal purposes, any similarity to any other footwear products or advertising of said products is completely imagined on your part.

7. Contact lenses

It was so much easier to wake up in the morning, and slide in a pair of disposable contact lenses. Especially since I could then wear my $125 Revo cool-as-all-hell sunglasses. Since no chemical plant in their right mind would allow anyone to wear contact lenses, I’m back to being stuck with my glasses, squinting into the sunlight. Ah well.

8. Not shaving

Is there anything more lazy that waking up with three-day stubble, looking in the mirror and saying, “Fuck it. I’ll shave tomorrow.” I think not, people. Now, I need my skin to be baby-soft each and every morning to accommodate the possibility that I may need to don a respirator. Oh joy.

So the new job is going well. Don’t you like how I can judge after only one day? I’m good like that.

Most of the day was spent being orientated, filling out forms, meeting people whose names I won’t remember, and setting up my computer. I also stumbled into receiving a few project files, which I get to start working on today. Goodie!

Here’s a helpful tip people – when your boss asks questions about your interests outside of work, it’s best to answer with something benign.

“So Jeff, what do you like to do in your spare time?”

“You mean aside from the ritual sacrificing of innocent children? Oh, I took up quilting about a year ago.”

Anyway, today is another day at the office. Toodaloo.

(I’m still working on that reemployment mix CD as well as a few helpful hints for surviving unemployment. Let the nail biting commence!)

READ THESE JOURNALS Uncle Bob SaraH

All content is copyright © Jeff Marks 2003. All Rights Reserved.
Clix Me!
Best viewed at 800x600 screen res, IE 5.5+. Diaryland