Well, it’s official.

Summer is over for me. Yesterday, I saw my first “back to school” commercial. Oddly enough, it wasn’t the Staples commercial where the father glides through the aisles gleefully tossing pens, binders, and miscellaneous school supplies into the cart while his children stare mournfully at him, not so much for his behavior in a public place, but more for the fact that their good times in the summer sun, have come to an end.

All as Andy Williams croons, “It’s the mooooost. Wonderful time. Of the year.”

That commercial makes me smile every time I see it.

But unfortunately, I didn’t see it last night. I saw an Office Depot commercial (Staples’ sister store) where the store turned into a Busby Berkley music number complete with midgets. It didn’t make me smile.

So my cooking stint came to a rather abrupt end last night. That was short lived, eh?

After completing my 3-mile run around Brandywine Park, the last half mile completely uphill, I returned to my apartment, intent on grilling some shrimp. Nothing fancy, mind you. Just some shrimp with garlic, lemon juice, and butter, and maybe toss in some pasta.

I pull out the Ziploc baggie of a half pound of 16-20 count shrimp, release the “yellow and blue makes green” seal and stick my nose into the bag, eager to smell the delicious odor of seafood.

Then I immediately vomited into the kitchen sink. The shrimp were completely rancid.

Let me digress to say that when one does something like plunge one’s nose into a Ziploc baggie filled with seafood, one has an expectation. That expectation does not include inhaling the moldy stench of death. So the body reacts accordingly.

Remember that power outage I was telling you about on Tuesday? Well apparently, my fridge failed to remain cold during the five or so hours without electricity to run the compressor. And the shrimp went bad.

So after forcing my stomach to unclench, I chucked my remaining groceries into the garbage, took a shower, and went out to dinner.

Ah, well. Happy Thursday.

Dear Jeff,

I am looking for ways to increase traffic to my website. I have tried linking to several lists and portals, and I was wondering, “What would Jeff do?”

Thanks!

Bandwidth Hog in Bangladesh

Dear Bandwidth Hog in Bangladesh,

The answer is simple. Do what I do. Paste the words “live nude teen donkey fucking” into your index page the same color as your background. Then sit back, relax, and watch the perverts come. Er…so to speak.

READ THESE JOURNALS Uncle Bob SaraH

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