Hey everyone. Miss me?

Sorry about being away for so long. Are you miffed?

Wait. Does anyone actually say, “miffed” anymore? I sure as hell don’t. Where did I get that from? Scratch that. Is anyone pissed as shit that I’ve been missing in action for a few weeks?

This week I’ve been catching up on my sleep. Yeah, because for the past two weeks (prior to this one, of course) I’ve been averaging about four hours of sleep.

“Why,” you ask?

Because I’ve been participating in the NYC midnight madness filmmaking competiton. Round one. Remember the deal with this contest? If not, don’t bother looking through the archives, since I can’t be bothered to find the entry that I first talked about this.

Round one, was a two week deadline, to write, produce, direct, and complete a ten-minute short film based on an assigned subject and genre. We were assigned “Film Noir,” with the subject: “A bounty hunter needs to take one last case before he retires.”

Hold your groaning. We were actually among the few lucky teams.

“Lucky,” you ask.

Yes. One team had to do a musical on animal rights. Another had to do a kung-fu movie about a kidnapped child. We counted our blessings and made our bounty hunter picture. I slept little, and we completed our film with ten or so hours to spare.

It came out looking awesome, and I really think we have a chance in our heat. I’ll put up a page at starrynightfilm.com so y’all can check it out.

If I may be allowed to pat myself on the back, my cinematographic skills are really improving. I lit the scenes to gain excellent contrast in lighting and shadows. It looks like a classic Noir flick.

We now return you to modesty.

Anywho…

Oh yeah, I said I’ve been catching up on my sleep this week. That’s kind of a lie. I bought Madden 2004 for PS2 the other night, and I’ve been more hyper than ever. Last night, I stayed up until 3am using the Packers to beat up on the Titans. Final score? 140 to 17. No that’s not a typo. I think I threw for 12 touchdowns, and 800+ yards. I think I’m getting the hang of the game. Perhaps it’s time to take it off Rookie Mode.

So is everyone ready for the hurricane?

Yesterday was spent “inplugging our computers” according to our “pre-strom” checklist.

So the Governor of Delaware declared a state of emergency throughout the state effective 7am today. Yeah, there’s nothing like getting a 15 hour jump on things. And beside, it’s always good to give those hard-working state employees another day off.

But anyway.

Here’s the Hurricane Survival Checklist that’s listed at the local NBC affiliate. Let’s see how I’m doing, okay?

Water

18 1/2 gallons of water per person (1/2 gallon for drinking, 2 gallons for bathing)
Store water in clean plastic containers

I think I have a 12-ounce bottle of Deer Park in my car. You think that's enough?

Food

Purchase foods that require no refrigeration and little preparation, such as:
Ready-to-eat canned food
Canned juices, milk, soup (if powdered, store extra water)
Snacks: cookies, cereals, etc.
Soft drinks, instant coffee, tea
Lots of ice (you can freeze your water supply)

Hmmm. I think I have some Ramen noodles, and maybe a can of tuna hiding in the back of my cabinets. However, my fridge is most definitely empty except for the jug of skim milk that mysteriously separated hours after bringing it home from the market. I should have taken it back, but it was only a couple of bucks, and I was really curious. That was also a few weeks ago. It’s looking really cool now by the way.

Medicine

First aid kit
Rubbing alcohol
Aspirin, non-aspirin pain reliever, antacid
Extra prescription medication (especially for heart problems and diabetes)
Ask your physician how to store prescription medication

Man, I don’t even have any of this shit for non-hurricane emergency situations! Oh yeah…why rubbing alcohol?

Personal Items

Toilet paper, towels, soap, shampoo
Personal and feminine hygiene products
Denture needs, contact lenses and an extra pair of eyeglasses
Sun protection, insect repellent

Well, I’m about three-quarters through my last roll of toilet paper. It’s a good thing I’ve been hording fast-food napkins. Insect repellant? Do hurricanes usually precede swarms of mosquitos?

Other Supplies

Battery-operated radio, flashlights, non-electric can opener, extra batteries
Charcoal, waterproof matches, extra propane gas for grills (Use grills outside only!)
ABC-rated fire extinguisher in a small canister
Portable cooler
Plenty of absorbent towels, plastic trash bags
Wind-up or battery-operated clock
Tarp or sheet plastic, duct tape, hammer and nails for temporary roof repairs
Cleaning supplies such as chlorine bleach
Aluminum foil, paper napkins and plates, plastic cups
Can of spray paint (can be used to identify your home by insurance adjusters in case it's damaged)
At least one change of clothing per person, sturdy shoes, hat and work gloves
Pillows and blankets or sleeping bags

Flashlight? Check. But no batteries. Damn! I suck at this. I have a propane grill. Yay! But no food. Doh! I have most of the shit on this part of the list, but it’s all pretty useless without the other stuff. I. Am. So. Screwed.

What To Do Before A Hurricane Threatens

* Develop your own emergency plan.
* Take Red Cross First Aid and CPR classes.
* Plan to relocate if you live either in a mobile home or an evacuation zone.
* Know your evacuation zone and route, and the elevation of your home above sea level.
* Plan to obtain supplies necessary to protect your property and for survival. Since windows are not usually blown out but knocked out by flying debris, windows should be boarded, not taped.
* Arrange for safekeeping of your pets or animals. Most shelters will not accept pets.
* Make a complete inventory of your personal property.
* Review your insurance policies. Homeowners insurance will not cover flood damage.
* Know what documents you will need to establish home ownership and make insurance claims.
* Stock non-perishable food items and water for your family to last one week. Once a watch is issued, these items disappear quickly from store shelves.
* Trim or remove trees that can damage your home.

My emergency plan: Run as fast as I can to Matt and Chris’ house, as in the event of an emergency, their keg will need to be consumed as fast as humanly possible since it will spoil without power for the kegerator.

Take CPR classes? There’s no time for that now! The storm’s coming! The storm’s coming! I can’t waste precious moments in an eight to twelve hour class reviving mannequins.

Ah well. Fuck it. I’ll hole up for a while, and eat the dead.

READ THESE JOURNALS Uncle Bob SaraH

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